My Toddler Is Hitting at Daycare — What to Do | Parent Guide | Daisy Days Regina SK

One of the most anxiety-provoking daycare calls is: “We need to talk about your toddler hitting.” At Daisy Days Daycare in Regina SK, hitting is one of the most common behaviour concerns in the toddler room — because toddler hitting is one of the most developmentally common behaviours of ages 1-3. Here’s what it means, what our ECE educators do, and what helps at home.

Why Toddlers Hit — The Developmental Reality

Toddler hitting is almost always a communication and self-regulation issue, not a character problem. The developmental explanation:

• Huge feelings, tiny language: Toddlers have the same intensity of emotion as adults — frustration, disappointment, anger, overstimulation — but only a fraction of an adult’s language capacity. When words fail, the body acts. Hitting is the body acting on a feeling that can’t yet be expressed verbally.
• Undeveloped impulse control: The prefrontal cortex — responsible for impulse control, planning, and “stop and think” — doesn’t mature until the mid-20s. A 2-year-old genuinely cannot reliably override a strong impulse. Expecting them to is developmentally unrealistic.
• Cause-and-effect learning: Toddlers are scientists. Hitting produces a reaction — typically a strong one. The reaction is interesting and powerful, which can inadvertently reinforce the behaviour even when the reaction is negative (because ANY intense reaction is stimulating to a toddler’s developing brain).
• Group care triggers: In a group setting, toddlers encounter more opportunity for resource conflict (wanting the same toy, the same seat, the same educator’s attention) — and therefore more frustration triggers — than in home settings. More triggers = more hitting in normal developmental range.

What Daisy Days Daycare Educators Do When a Toddler Hits

Daisy Days Daycare follows positive behaviour guidance principles — not punishment-based approaches:

1. Immediate safety first: Ensure the child who was hit is attended to and safe.
2. Brief, calm language with the child who hit: “Ouch. Hitting hurts. Hands are not for hitting.” — said once, calmly, not repeatedly or with shame.
3. Name the feeling: “Were you frustrated? You wanted that toy and [name] had it. That’s frustrating.” — labelling the emotion begins building emotional vocabulary.
4. Offer an alternative: “Next time, you can say ‘My turn please’ or find another toy to use while you wait.”
5. Watch for the pattern: Does hitting happen at specific times (before snack, during transitions)? With specific children? When overstimulated? Pattern identification drives prevention.
6. Communicate with parents: We share patterns and approaches with parents so home and daycare work consistently together.

What Parents Can Do at Home to Reduce Daycare Hitting

• Name emotions constantly: “You’re frustrated because the block fell down. That feels so disappointing.” Label emotions even when your toddler can’t yet do it themselves — you’re building their vocabulary bank.
• Practice “my turn” language: Before hitting situations arise, practice requesting: “Can I have a turn?” Role-play with stuffed animals.
• Respond to hitting consistently: Brief, calm, non-dramatic response at home (“Ouch. Hands down. No hitting.”) without long explanations — toddlers process short, clear messages.
• Avoid physical discipline: Spanking or hitting to stop hitting is ineffective and teaches the opposite of the desired lesson — that bigger people use their bodies to get what they want.
• Ensure adequate sleep and nutrition: Tired and hungry toddlers have significantly lower regulation capacity. Daycare hitting often spikes in the late afternoon (pre-pickup) when children are tired — ensure early pickup of consistently tired children is addressed through sleep schedule review.

When to Be Concerned About Toddler Hitting

Talk to your pediatrician and Daisy Days Daycare director if:

• Hitting is escalating in frequency or intensity beyond age 3
• The child is hitting adults with intent and without apparent frustration trigger
• The child seems to get pleasure from others’ distress (different from normal toddler cause-and-effect curiosity)
• Other communication concerns exist alongside the hitting

→ Daisy Days Daycare behaviour guidance policy
→ Toddler program at Daisy Days Daycare
→ Toddler language development guide

Contact Daisy Days Daycare to discuss your toddler’s behaviour with our director.
306-807-3233 | info@daisydaysdaycare.com | 2007 Potts Crescent East, Regina SK S4V 2E5